How to read a person like a book

The human mind is an innovative hybrid that allows us to anticipate the future - to think big thoughts. This is good news.

However, a growing number of psychologists and behavioral scientists are finding evidence that our brains are wired for errors today's social environment, especially when it comes to assessing personality and predicting the behavior of people we meet.

Why are we so bad at reading the intentions of others? Built on top of the old "emotional" part of our circuit mammals, there is a "rational cerebral cortex. The two are often in conflict, and under the surface, our protective instincts are always lurking. Unfortunately the" emotional circuitry often overwhelms the "rational cortex. When we meet people who just give more weight to elements in their personalities that support our beloved preconceptions than to any evidence to the contrary. So we often completely miss the target and pay a price for our misjudgments.

ARBITRARY OBSESSIONS
The frontal lobes are in love with our preconceptions. This hard-wired programming undercuts us in a multitude of ways depressingly familiar. The most common is the way our preconceptions and prejudices distort our perception of people who want to evaluate.

CONFIRMATION BIAS
This is our all too natural ability to convince ourselves of whatever it is we want to believe. How? We simply give more weight to events that support our prejudice or preconception wanted any evidence to the contrary.

Preparation must precede OPPORTUNITY
Think about how many great opportunities are lost by what I call "semantic sabotage". If you've ever found yourself stumbling over your words, or simply not knowing what to say you have lived "the dilemma of dialogue." Even if you made a statement, then realized that was not exactly what he meant. These are all preventable diseases.

I bet YOUR'VE NEVER had this experience ... Someone comes to you. Then tell him your name. Suddenly you realize that I can not remember their name. Why this happens so often? Simple, you did not forget their name - never really heard first! Still she was at the center of the photo.

Many people do not listen with the intent to understand - they listen with the intent to meet or impress. That has not happened because the mind has no capacity simultaneously. Therefore, if you are following your statement, you are not concentrating on his words, tone and actions.

To read a person like a book, you must open them, make them talk. As people to open up is a skill that can be learned.

A skilled conversationalist uses specific question in three different categories. (1) conversation starters. (2) Personal questions. (3) philosophical questions. Once you've learned a limited inventory of optional applications you can switch categories to control the outcome.

Questions are the key source of knowledge and power. Who does not ask the right questions always hears the wrong answers. An unclear issue is an infinite number of answers.

Many say that the information is the road to power. The wealthiest people will tell you that is their ability to make wise choices in dealing with people is their greatest asset. And when he made mistakes, has often been disastrous for them socially and financially.