The common scenario:
Your partner is hardly ever home to give attention and when at home, he is worried about his routine. The two then start collecting small things for each other. This makes you feel misunderstood and lonely down on yourself.
One day you are after commissions domestic work and noticed a male colleague. He comes to you and asks you to join him for coffee. You agree and the two of you talk and laugh. Then exchange email addresses and next thing you know, you're waiting to speak with him again and maybe even your job a little sympathy '.
Weeks pass and the excitement ebbs just a little 'how do you feel guilty and confused. You begin to have obsessive thoughts as a contributor wants the two of you to have some alone. Your wandering if could bring happiness that is missing in your life at home, if the grass is truly greener on the other side.
What do you do?
You're Only Human:
And 'human nature for you to know that you are loved and desired or wanted. Of course, some are simply addicted to the feeling of excitement you get while going through an attraction with someone other than their partners. feel insecure and lack confidence in themselves can make a person think and do things sometimes uncomfortable when receiving attention from another. In fact, 274 to 703 people lacking intimacy altogether from their partners. Most people yearn for passion in their lives almost more than they want or need money. The media puts great emphasis on it through the internet, cinema, television, radio, magazines and books. I can not count how many times I read a juicy romance novel and wanted to pummel my husband with it as he was fired on the couch.
Paying The Piper Of Desire:
The desire for love is over rated and misunderstood everywhere and many relationships are torn apart by perceptions of what a person thinks they need to fill a void in their lives. They'll practically sell their souls for romance, passion, desire and arousal. Something that their partner can not or will not give. But then, never communicate with their partners about what they need so how can they know that you can not get? The few who have discussed their needs and desires with their partners still do not receive it at the moment that justifies their actions. Very rarely or party gain anything but guilt and self-loathing. Not to mention, what others feel and think about them when they decide to act on their attraction or infatuation.
When ... phase:
Infatuation is a strong, stupid, but transitory, attachment to someone or something. The attraction is similar but not made. In a survey I conducted, the average person that experienced attraction or infatuation was thirty-something category. Many people, especially women, go through an extreme step, at this stage of life. Dress up the mirror and find the crow's feet or laugh lines forming. Looking back to see what has been done and what has not. Wondering what's out there. We all go through it and does take a toll on our self-esteem.
Use It or Lose It:
Personally, infatuation with someone other than your partner can actually put spark into a stale relationship. In my personal survey, 19% said that their relationship and feelings with their partners were positively stronger after their infatuation for another. On the other hand, 31% said they never changed their relationship at all because they never told their partner and never acted on their feelings.
Many people make the mistake of acting on their undeniable infatuation while otherwise committed to another. Out of 294 males, 124 have cheated on their partner and 122 out of 326 females did the same. Approximately 30% of my buyers inquiry staff advising others in similar situations to be "careful" because "not worth it" or "recognize the attraction for what it is and do not read more into it." On a positive note, 37% of those who have the survey did not act on their attraction.
Is This Love?
The definition of love, a feeling that animates a person who is dedicated, sincere and passionate about another person or thing you want to activate. No wonder so many confuse infatuation and attraction with love! The similarities are obvious. But the key words are "devotees" and "desire actively". Love for another is long-term, a more grounded feeling of infatuation or attraction. None of the situations in my personal investigation led love or marriage with another person. Although, 44% led to a serious sexual relationship but neither case ended up as a simple one-night stand. For most, 27% say it is just a memory that you would prefer to forget. And only 27% hope to see that person again.
Rewind and re:
Then why most of us so hell-bent on the thrill of infatuation or always wondering if the next person is "the one" even though we're already in a commitment? It 's all about ourselves. What you're not getting and refuse to ask for and give in return. How do we feel about ourselves or see through the eyes of another. Our boredom with a current situation. Not to mention, some of us are just thrill-seekers and taboo-addicts.
Recently, I came across a quote from SavvyMale.com in attraction.
"Come into the garden to look at the flowers, not weeds.
People are attracted to different looking flowers. But even some pretty flowers stink once we try to smell them. "
I think the moral of this quote is, physical attraction is important at first. Only when you try to explore more qualities will we know if there is chemistry and most times not. However, if we are already committed to another, we can still watch the most beautiful flowers, just leave them alone. Instead, share your feelings of their beauty with your partner and cultivate your garden as beautiful as a couple. There is a greater chance of being your grass greener for all.
© 2005 Audrey King
No comments:
Post a Comment