Friday, June 22, 2012

Expectations can reduce daily frustrations

Just today my partner Russ and I sat down to a hash frustration annoying. It took a little 'joking back and forth [not without some rise in emotional tension that let you know] until we get to the heart of the problem.

Unmet expectations!
Stop and look back the last time you were frustrated with your life or business partner. Chances are it was because he / she has not met your expectations.

Expectations ...
-Leave the toilet seat up or down
-Make the bed
-The Meeting at the restaurant in time
-And so on.

These expectations may be small or large, simple or complex, irrelevant or absurd, the point is that somewhere in your head you were expecting something different to happen what happened.

So, most every time to find your frustration level rising is because your partner has acted contrary to a myriad of your expectations. Now that you've become more or re-cognition of this thing you can do about it ... Furthermore, hoot and shout?

The first step is to identify what the expectation is
For example: My husband is expected to arrive at least 15 minutes early to meetings where we have speakers, as he likes to greet participants and take our position behind the podium in a timely manner. When for some reason I caught talking to someone outside gets upset.

Now, before we had a dialogue about this and how important it is for him I had no idea. The same is true as he and I squeeze the toothpaste!

What are your expectations with your partner for life ...
-Remove the [garbage and when it does, every day or only when it stinks to high heaven?]
Be intimate
-Education of children
-As the oil changed
-Balancing the checkbook
-Hanging out with members of the opposite sex

And with your business partners what are your expectations of ...
-The time and effort spread
Take-free time
-Do you work or enjoy a large
And the list goes on.

Once you have identified which are expected to be trampled in address with your [partner when emotions are] check and find out what your expectations are about the same problem. Sometimes you will find that your partner does not care and make your way easily, and sometimes the opposite is the expectations [as] the proverbial toothpaste squeezing scenario. If this is the case, you have some work to do.

Where do our expectations?
Our expectations are usually generated during our childhood. I recall when our daughter was about five years and she came home from a visit to our neighbors rather concerned and said "Mummy and Daddy are mad by Jason and his dad went. Moms and dads should be together." The His expectation was [and still is now that she is 26 and] that married couples work it out.

Take a moment to reflect on some of your expectations, you might just laugh where some of their provenance. As for the ham ...

Mother is teaching her daughter how to cook the ham for a holiday dinner. "Mommy, why cut ends of the ham before putting it in the pot?" Mother stops to think for a moment then says: "Because that is what my grandmother did." Luckily my grandmother is visiting and is sitting in the front room reading with her grandson five years of age. "Grandmother, why cut the ends off the ham?" Grandma smiles and says, "Why child, because your mother was young when the pan was too small."

Choose your battles
A second prediction is recommended to grant so that in another area, your partner will agree to your preferences. Determine which expectations are most important to you and that are most important for your partner. Be prepared for some give and take.

Find a better way.
When the expectations are in conflict, it is often better to sit and look at what is best for your situation or relationship. Who takes out the trash can vary depending on work schedule and availability. When to take out the trash may be driven by health concerns. When individual expectations clash the fastest way to resolve the concern is to create a whole new expectation that suits you and your life or business partners better.

If you're a workaholic working 16 hours a day and your partner puts in eight hours needed to look at what your business needs and set the expectations line up with your business plan and objectives.

In a society, life or work, remember that your expectations may need to realign so that work for the good of the relationship.

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