Laura anxiously anticipates the return of her husband Dan. What will it be like and what should he do? After all, he is not returning from a successful business trip or weekend golf. He returned from war. He had to organize a romantic just-for-the-two-of-us event or a family reunion? This is the experience of returning home before their marriage young. It 'been over a year since Dan left. Little Maja was born three months ago and Dan has yet to meet his new baby girl. Laura, once timid, dependent and overweight women became self-sufficient and confident. He joined the gym, lost weight and signed up for computer classes. Although Laura had lost terribly Dan is suitable for military wife. They had kept each other updated via e-mail and phone calls. Dan will be surprised to discover what has changed since he left.
How can you face the challenges of homecoming? Relax and accept that homecoming can be difficult. To prepare for the big day, put your needs aside and help your spouse reconnect with the life he or she left behind. The real challenge is life after deployment. Historically those fighting in combat have a much greater likelihood of relationship break-ups than the civilian counter-parts. Depending on how the devastating experience of war was, the soldier may not be the same person you saw off. Your spouse may have witnesses, including children or comrades die. He or she may have been forced to kill in the line of duty! While the soldier may not share all these experiences with you, listen with empathy if he or she. Even if your life has been clouded by fear during deployment, do not compete for the heart more wounded. After the big homecoming, may be anxious to get on with life as a couple, but find themselves at different times. Returning from a country at war, daily life can seem trivial now to your spouse. He or she may suffer from post-war trauma or guilt.
Here are the two of you trying to pick up where you left off. This is the critical point where military couples set the stage for a fault or spiral deeper love. How do you prevent your relationship to become a divorce statistic? Simply be what people in exceptional relationships are: Fit 2 Love! Do what people in exceptional relationships do: to become better every day! Following the three principles of being fit to love: mutual respect, moral responsibility and authenticity you can transform your relationship into a solid anchor. That's what these principles:
Mutual respect: Exercise true mutual respect instead of respect in itself. In real terms this means that your partner is as important as you. Respect how your soldier back home feel. He or she has gone through a phase that changes your life serving, an experience you two did not share. Cherish the new person emerged. Accept his altered perspective on life and being open to learn from it.
Moral responsibility: You are always morally responsible for your partner. Everything we think, say or do not affect your partner. Sometimes you even have to think of your first partner. Yes, you are responsible for each other's welfare. Be kind, loving and sympathetic. Allow time to heal wounds. Be sensitive and encouraging when you help your partner get on with life. Your task is to be an anchor.
Authenticity: You! And create the best of you. Best for another. Be honest about your feelings, but do not blame each other if your relationship is undergoing change. Could also be a change for the better. Depending on how you react, crises like these are often the kick-start for more authentic and more solid relationships. Take your cue from your heart, why not betray you.
Think about when you commit wholeheartedly to your partner. You undertake to respect and be morally responsible for the other? You have committed to be the best that could be the other? Sure you did and now you can do all that and do it better. While returning home your soldier will surely fill your heart with joy, after the months can be very stressful.
Here are some tips to make love stronger military
• Do not be anxious to return to daily life
· Leave for readjustment
· Become aware of new
· Respect the different person he or she may have been
• Do not try to recover lost time
Children 'that things can be different
• Do not have unrealistic expectations
· Talk to each other openly and listen with empathy
• Do not be surprised if your sex life is uncomfortable at first
• If you have children is open and reassuring
· Spend quality time with your partner and as a family
• Do not be monitoring or manipulation
· Learn to make decisions together again
· Keep the faith, you need more than ever.
© 2005 Allie Ochs
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