It is the saddest thing to hear a man who has lost treasure of his heart. The hardest part is when I do not know why, and I feel more often than you might imagine.
The plaintive, "But I loved her," followed by "I have no idea why he left."
It's bad enough to lose your love, without being astonished at the top of everything. Generally there are two explanations for this, both of which can be employed.
The first is denial, like the gentleman who told me he had lost his wife and did not know why, but when pressed said it "could" have been because he had a relationship, but "should not matter" because "he knew that meant nothing. "The answer to this is to quit fooling yourself. Nobody can pull the wool over the eyes, except you. Rationalize something you know that about the same odds of hitting a home run swing heights as evil and then blame the other person because you hit is the attitude of the victim. Get out of it and responsible for what you do.
The second is of general stupidity. If you often can not understand what's happening around you, you can be in this category, too, has a remedy.
Staying in one location to ensure you'll love again and lose again. Or worse, because you're confused, afraid to love again and choose women who are poor and unavailable and then complain that never works out. You will feel safe, that is fine, but you'll be miserable, which is not pleasant.
If you want to minimize that possibility, here are some suggestions.
Develop Your Emotional Intelligence
EQ is emotional fluidity. It 's the opposite of stupidity. It starts with awareness of your feelings, and extends to understand the feelings of others - the world of feelings.
The worst of this opportunity sounds to you, you probably need more.
Many men begin to think about what is in their hearts, making it a mental thing because you feel better, but the end result is that you'll end up confused. Women do not like being with a man who has confused about them. They want a straight and true.
In order to relate to the woman you love, and keep the relationship alive, you should know about this "confusion". Otherwise, he will die, and we can say that I do not know why, but is that what you want? Learning to know why.
DATE OF HER
The second solution is to go out with her.
"I did," you say, confused.
I mean because of its continuation. Continue to date her.
Most men are so good at dating, it must be innate. The trouble is that it is facing to the initial conquest, or make her bed, and then think they can be abandoned.
"Whew, glad it's over," you think. "Now I can go back to the ball game."
Wrong! I think there is an explanation that you are a super calendar, when the hormones are in full. If we interpret this as "feelings", and die with time, which they always do, you can not "feel" as its dating more, even though she now lives with her, or are married to her. The key is to not stop doing it.
Now define dating. What do so well when you're dating? Pay attention to her. You call, email, send cards and flowers. He hung his every word. He looks deeply into her eyes. You express your feelings verbally ("I love you." "You're beautiful."). You hang around, because you can not be away from her. Do you remember what you said and you remember his birthday. You are trustworthy and are there for her, listening to endless and effortless, as he speaks his emotions, his day, his dreams and projects, or your relationship. Does not really matter what he speaks, you listen and listen as if you care, because you do. It 's a means to an end that you want so you are highly motivated.
If it worked so well, why not continue to do so?
The case is more difficult to obtain
If you want to get not only his, but keep it, you must generate this type of behavior is not constant, but enough. Means to act and show your love, not just thinking about it, or worse, if that is no longer necessary.
Do not be one of those who say: "Of course I love you. I married you not?" unless you want to hear a sad day, "Of course I do not love you anymore. This is why I'm leaving.
How do I do this when I do not want to? In the same way you do your job. It counts for you in the long run, so do well on a day when you do not want to. E '"take care of business, and you know how.
Then apply this same logic to keep the woman you love and create the behavior you know you win what you want.
As someone said, "You do not love a woman because she is beautiful, is beautiful because you love her." The relationship between the two of you needs your attention and care too. You can make beautiful and durable as well. It's never too late to start learning how.
Good luck!
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