How not to compromise with your partner

Have you ever disagreed with your spouse? Or your boyfriend or girlfriend? Of course not - she / he / it is perfect, right?

You can imagine my shock when my friend told me that he and his wife often fought over little things.

"You're kidding."

"Yes, we fight for the smallest, most insignificant things," he confirmed.

"Well, why not just let her have her way then?"

"Why we fight for big, important things," he admitted.

"What about compromise?

"We do it all the time," he said.

"So what's the problem?"

"The problem is that wins the majority of compromises."

Compromises are never easy. A reasonable compromise is when both sides feel they won. A compromise is really great when both parties know lost.

The problem is that even the most modest of us, when thrust into danger of compromise, have inflatable ego.

For example, my wife and I have recently been conducting compromise, and I do not even remember what I had done the diplomatic gaffe. But she was determined to set straight. "Do not be so premature," my wife scolded.

"Premature?"

"Amateur, then," he said.

"Amateur?

"No, the other word. Stop acting like one of those kids!" he shouted, looking for a dictionary.

God gave us the dictionary so you do not have to spell. They are big books with small print, and trying to find something to shorten their fuses and, in the heat of compromise, can only lead to injury Dictionary bullet. Fortunately, our house is messy enough to hide even the largest dictionary.

That's why, when compromise is imminent, occasionally I find myself wet.

The water never hurt anyone, I tell myself. Then I remember Noah. And Jack. And Jill. But so far I have avoided drowning in my own personal grief, which means that I am probably less affected by losing my brother.

Our life in an era home of a truce. Fortunately, no one is intent on world domination.

If I just learn to put the toilet seat down or wipe the counter after me, I could find a diplomatic coup. However, if I did, I would have to pay for an embassy reception, and my wife is the only restaurant in the house. It would also be its strength in a corner most uncomfortable having to put other toilet seat down and close the lights when you leave the room to avoid diplomatic faux pas.

Being a loving husband, I am determined to protect my wife from any discomfort in his house (or having to answer a diplomatic reception), so I resisted the temptation to score a diplomatic coup and I still leave the top wet.

Sometimes it's for greater good to allow a friendly exchange of sniper fire, taking cover if it seems that could get out of hand. The world is a much quieter place if we just accept that we can all get along peacefully and not in real danger of life perpetually on the brink of compromise.